dear lilly,

hello. in my relationship, my boy friend does not like to go out very much. in fact, i’ll just say he is an indoor person, when he does go out, he hangs out with his boys and all they do is smoke and play video games. with me, he says he stops. when we go out to parties, he feels he has to ask me first if he can go outside with his friends to smoke weed, or if he can drink. i hate it, very much. but i do not want to be the reason he stops. i do not want him to feel like i’m his family, and i am trying to make him do something he does not want to do. sometimes i even start fights because i give him attitude when he gets back. i do not smoke myself, so i never had a thing for guys that smoke or drink, it is such a turn off to me. but little did i know, i ended it up with someone who did this all. i am not sure if i should let him do his own thing or not? sometimes we even fight because i do not see him as much as he wants to see me. since he stays at home, he usually makes me go out of my way to see him, when in our culture, my mom says that he should go out of his way just to see me. i get kind of bored staying indoors. in fact, i go out with my family and friends way more because i love adventures, and i love going out. we are feeling kind of distant from each other just because we are two different people. it’s causing us to fight, and he even admitted it to me. i’m not sure what i can do, i am being selfish enough to make myself happy. i just do not want to worry about what he does besides being with me.

Lets start out with the facts, your boyfriend doesn’t like to do what you like to do, and you don’t like to what he likes to do. In some cases of relationships opposites work, but in this case I’m not so sure it does. My honest advice is he isn’t good for you at all. He makes you either stay in when you’re naturally adventurous, or go out of your way to see him. Relationships take two people working together, not one person making all the effort. You should always go with your instincts and what you want. If you never wanted to date someone that does the things he does, then you shouldn’t. There’s something I had to do in my freshman health class that I think you should try. Make a list of all the qualities you want in a guy and all the qualities you don’t. Now after you make that list, never settle for less. You deserve a great guy that will make you happy and actually explore life with you. You very sweetly called him an “indoor person” but frankly, he sounds just like a bum. You deserve a real man, not a childish couch potato. so go get what you deserve :]

Okaay, so there’s just one thing. There’s a guy that I’m dating, lets call him Jon. And there’s the guy that I like, um, Bobby. I only said yes to Jon because I felt sorry for him, (am I leading him on?) I dont wanna be stuck in a relationship where I dont have any feelings, but hes a player, and hes admitted that hes actually gonna take this relationship seriously cos he really cares for me. I dont wanna end it cos I dont wanna break his heart, plus I dont wanna jump out of one boat until Im secure in another, get what Im saying? And Ive really, really liked Bobby for more than two months now, and he knows. Im positive that he likes me, but I just cant…you know. Help pls? ;[

I completely understand. I think the obvious thing here is that you want to leave Jon for Bobby, which does make sense. You’re a good person for not wanting to hurt his feelings and being so nice, however yes it could be considered as leading him on since you don’t actually have feelings for him. I know you don’t want to hurt him, but by letting him go now, you’ll be hurting him less than letting him like you more and more and then letting him go. You don’t ever want to be in a relationship with someone you don’t want to be in a relationship with, so you should let Jon go. Just make sure you do it gently and honestly, just say there isn’t any chemistry for you, and do not let him suck you in! Now since he was a player, I’m sure he’ll survive, so don’t feel to bad. You’ll definitely be doing the right thing here by going for who you actually like. and as for the boat securing thing, it sounds to me that your other boat is already secure. so good luck :]

I’m here for you guys, no matter what!

Don’t be afraid, I’m like your best friend. The only difference is you won’t be judged and you don’t have to worry about your secrets getting out. Please go to my formspring [HERE] and tell me your problems so i can help :] Even if you just need some inspiration, I’m here for any and all of you <3

also, please help me by spreading the word so that everyone can get the help they deserve :]

How I Met Your Mother, Season 4, Episode 23.

 [advice from how i met your mother]
Ted: Okay, I'm gonna say something out loud that I've been doing a pretty good job of not saying out loud lately. What you and Tony have, what I thought for a second what you and I had, and what I know Marshall and Lilly have, I want that. I do. I keep waiting for it to happen and waiting and I guess, I'm just tired of waiting. And that is all I'm going to say about that subject.
Stella: You know, I once talked my way out of a speeding ticket.
Ted: Really?
Stella: I was heading up to my parents' house doing like, 90 on this country road and I got pulled over. So this cop gets out of his car. He kind of swaggers on over. And he's like, 'Young lady, I have been waiting for you all day." So I looked up at him and I said:" I'm so sorry officer. I got here as fast as i could."
Ted: *laughs* For real?
Stella: *laughs* No. It's an old joke. I know that you're tired of waiting and you may have to wait a little while more but she's on her way, Ted. And she's getting here as fast as she can.

i’ve never been kissed. i’ve never had a relationship. i want to be in one. but i just don’t know how to meet a guy. or let my guard down. i’m scared i’ll be alone forever. :(

Please don’t fret over this honey. I’m not sure how old you are, but when it comes to a first kiss, and even love, age is merely a number. There’s no set age or right time for someone to meet someone else that they click with. A lot of time people will want to be in a relationship so badly that they force themselves into a relationship with anyone they can, and then it just doesn’t work out and no one’s happy. Now let me tell, I’m actually a very shy person when it comes to meeting new people, especially cute guys, so I know how you feel there. You just gotta relax, and know that the right person will come along when they’re suppose to. Looking for them can be exhausting and worrisome. So just relax and live and love your life, and remember to always be yourself. So let your guard down to that point, so you can be yourself and a boy with fall in love with you for who you are. but still keep watch for the bad guys. and remember this, friends make the best boyfriends :] hope i helped <3

hello there :]

I’m Lilly, and I’ll be your advice giver this evening :]

I started this site to help people, because I love making people’s lives better and helping them out.

So ask me anything, vent about a problem, rant about something thats bothering you. Anything you need to talk about, I’m here for you!

Just submit what you have to say to my formspring! It’s completely anonymous, so you can really say whatever you need to. I’ll post what you said and my advice right here on tumblr :]

lets get started!